


The City of Lights

by coffeecreme



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Asylum, M/M, The Town of Light, Unbeta'd, god i hope this doesn't suck, the au nobody asked for, this is not how you treat patients
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-28 12:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6328888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeecreme/pseuds/coffeecreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>12 March 1938, Rhys, 16, was ripped from his place in the world. His only fault? Not knowing his place in the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> Featuring a new game that just came out Feb 26th this is an AU of the game The Town of Light, which is amazing btw. This is a kind of test to see if people like the fic, so if you're interested by the end of it let me know!

Rhys was always...peculiar. Or rather, everything around Rhys was always peculiar. It was the way he lived, day after day with no end in sight. That day in particular, he thought, was exceptionally peculiar. It started off normally enough, the day broke with the dawn of a new sunrise, a new day, a new chance to live his life free from sin. He was happy, as he typically was, laying in bed with his cat Benjamin. Ben was splayed across his feet, so of course he couldn’t move, and his laptop was perched next to him on the empty side of the mattress. There were days where he felt that pang of loneliness that told him the other side shouldn’t be empty, that he’d been cheated out of something he deserved a long time ago. He banished the thought quickly, he really didn’t have time to ponder such meaningless things, what he was doing was far more important. He was searching news stories for something that had peaked his interest a few days ago, something he swore he’d return to. He found it finally, with a small utterance of success under his breath, and clicked the link. It was an old hospital that was shut down years ago, a time he could barely remember, and the story was on the terrible conditions of the place. One of those mock news stories that made you realize how lucky you were to be alive in this day and age, but also a reminder that these things happened not that long ago. He peered into the article with interest and did a quick search for the location, jotting down the address with a china marker on his arm. He had the day off from work so he didn’t have to worry about moving too much too fast, he’d been planning this for a while. Gently he attempted to shift the cat off his feet, but Ben was having none of it. Rhys sighed as Ben attacked his toes from on top of the covers, wiggling them for a moment in amusement before sliding out of bed. 

He couldn’t really hold it off any longer. 

Rhys ignored his phone, buzzing with texts from Vaughn and Fiona, and instead headed to the bathroom where he stripped from his pajamas and got in the shower. He didn’t allow himself much time to soak, jumping in and out quickly and avoiding the fogged mirrors. He dressed casually but carefully, jeans and a long tee shirt with a sweater pulled over his head, and a pair of new hiking boots he’d bought the night before. While he didn’t imagine he’d do much actual hiking, it was good to be prepared. He fed Ben, grabbed his keys and phone, and left the house, locking the door behind him. He took a deep breath in and walked down the hallway away from his apartment, skipping the elevator and taking the stairs two at a time, heart skipping beats every so often. He was nervous. He was excited. He was a mash of things all in one but he kept a good solid face on. He checked his phone before he exited the building, a flurry of ridiculous fake angry texts from Vaugh and Fiona about how they were upset he wasn’t in work that day. The bakery could wait, he had something to do.

The drive wasn’t as long as he had anticipated, which was saying something. Eventually he found himself in a new town - well not new, but different. A different town, surrounded by acres of forest. He parked his car, got out, and took a deep breath. Tried to ignore the shaking in his knees. 

“I can do this.”

Empty air, no answer, he felt silly. It was necessary. 

He trekked the two miles until he reached a fenced off building, grand and sprawling on the hillside. It rose above Rhys like a monument and he paused for a moment, mouth agape, as he stared above. It was…...it was just like he remembered, only this time the stones were faded and the windows were overgrown by vines. He slid through a small opening in the fence blocking the building off, warning of danger and caution gone unheeded. Rhys walked to the front door, testing it in the slightest. It swung open without resistance and he hesitated, pursing his lips and sucking in a breath through his nose. 

He could do this.

Rhys entered the building unsteadily, with trembling hands balancing himself on the doorframe. 

_Reality fades away and my skin is gone, every breath of wind is excruciatingly painful_

He had to stop for a moment, and shivered. Entering the hospital again was like walking underwater, everything seemed...distorted. He stood in the entryway, glancing through the two rooms to his direct left and right. Admissions and waiting. He didn’t remember them, not clearly. All he could clearly remember was…

_Lamby...my doll…._

He could argue that dolls were for girls. Despite his struggling when he’d first entered this place, that’s what they’d told him. Dolls were for girls, so since he had one…. He didn’t want to think about it. But somehow, he knew Lamby was in here. Waiting for him. He shook his head momentarily, heading further into the hospital. He turned toward the right at the T intersection, but shook his head. It was not forbidden to look for Lamby, so that’s what he would do. He headed straight for the staircase that led to the first floor, eyeing the small lift. There was a control panel near the calm women’s ward...perhaps he should turn on the main power. Surely it wasn’t on after all these years, and he flipped a switch to prove it. Nothing happened and he hummed into the open air, turning on his heel and heading to the left, where the control panel sat innocently. He flipped the main switch and smiled triumphantly when some of the lights flickered on. Turning back to the stairs he bounded up two at a time, unable to get the crawling feeling up his spine to go away. After all, Rhys had made the trip all the way out here...for what he wasn’t sure. 

Releasing a shuddering sigh Rhys looked around the first floor, searching for Lamby. What he found was the ruins of a hospital he remembered only in fragments, and locked doors. Disappointed he turned into a room he’d neglected, backing out immediately as an image forced its way into his head. He hissed, pushing the palm of his right hand into his eye and shaking his head. The image was crisp and seen from the window of the glass door, a man in a straight jacket seated on a table, looking every bit the lunatic they claimed he was. Surrounded by doctors and nurses there was a distinct burning smell and electric sound, something he didn’t want to think about. 

“There has to be something….Lamby….”

More determined than unnerved, he searched a previously overlooked room and nearly gasped. Seated on a small stool was a stuffed lamb with a ribbon around it’s neck, faded and threadbare. Rhys reverently picked up the stuffed animal, cradling it close to his body and staring down into it’s black button eyes. He remembered something.

_Mummy took good care of Lamby. She tucked her in, hugged her, gave her cuddles and kisses. She was very affectionate and loving. Nothing bad happened to Lamby and I was amazed, I did not understand. At first I was quite afraid, I thought she wanted to hurt me. I was constantly expecting the moment when mum would abandon her, because….I did not deserve to live. I did not deserve to be loved…._

A thumb brushed over the threadbare form of the lamb, and a sad smile crossed his face. If he were sadder, if his heart hurt just a bit more, there would be tears. But not now, not today. There wasn’t time for that. For now, Lamby was cold. Rhys wasn’t sure why this was so important to him, he could rationalize a lot better now than when he was younger. He didn’t feel like questioning it, and simply left the room in search of warmth, where surely once Lamby was secure and comfortable he could erase the feeling of discomfort worming its way through his belly, and be done with this whole mess. Standing in the cracked and filthy hallway he glanced around, spotting the hospital’s floor plan on the wall. He recognized all the rooms, the wings, the general layout. Puffing out his cheeks he pondered his next move, and tilted his head at the sound of buzzing coming from a nearby room. He walked in slowly, recognizing the signs of an abandoned observation room with machinery and lamps clumped together in a corner. 

“Lamby would like that warmth but… she’s uncomfortable.”

Why did it matter to him how a doll felt? Something crept up his spine, a distinct feeling of unease. He rushed out of the room, remembering spotting a wheelchair all the way on the ground floor. If he grabbed it, it’d be a perfect seat for Lamby and he could use the lift to get the chair back to the first floor, and create a little nest for Lamby under the lights. Turning toward the hall his stomach dropped as he noticed shadows stretching around him. He took in a few deep breaths, steadying himself against the wall and wiping at the sweat beading on his forehead. He rushed down the stairs, ignoring the lift for the moment and grabbed the wheelchair he’d spotted in the corner of the hallway near the fuse box. Setting Lamby down on the chair gently he felt the unease start to lift from his middle, and took in a breath of relief. Wheeling the rusted damn thing was another story, and Rhys cringed at the sound of squeaking wheels, and brought the contraption to the lift. Honestly, Rhys didn’t really trust the lift, but if it had been sturdy for all those years before then…. 

He took a chance with the lift, and it worked. Back on the first floor of the hospital he wheeled Lamby into the observation room, steering the wheelchair underneath the lights. He felt the unease lift from himself and smiled, leaving Lamby to her warm and comfortable perch. He slowly left the room, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and hummed. 

“Let’s go to the ward where it all began…”

Now that he could focus, he noticed for the first time all the paint peeling from the walls, and the graffiti that typically marked an abandoned location. It was kind of sad seeing the place in such disrepair, because while his memories may have been scattered, he could feel a certain happiness that came from this place. Perhaps not from the building itself, but from an experience that he just couldn’t reach. Now where had it all began again?

“The observation ward...on the ground floor…”

He turned and took the lift back down, feeling a fuzzy sensation in his head. It grew worse and worse as he turned to the left toward that ward, the beginning of his journey. Where it had all began, where he’d really lost it all. His hands trembled and he broke out into a cold sweat, but he had to do this. He had to. He touched the double doors leading to the ward, and his vision went white.


	2. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the kudos!! I'm really excited to keep this ball rolling and I hope you guys like this next chapter.

He was in front of the doors again, the white edging away from his vision. The glassed double doors opened without him touching them, and he felt queasy. Rhys took a few steps forward, listening to the gentle scrape and thud of his boots on the broken tiled floor. The doors, all open before him, started to slowly swing shut as he passed by. His vision swam for a moment as he kept walking, heart in his throat and a gentle static in his ears. He had to move on, to push forward. It wasn’t forbidden. He shivered as he came toward the end of the hallway, doors swinging shut with a sense of finality that he didn’t exactly appreciate. Focused on the light beyond the double doors that led to a bright room, he nearly stumbled and fell….off a steep drop. The floor took a sudden ninety degree turn, straight down. Not remembering this, especially since it looked as though the hallway continued downward, he decided to take a chance and allowed himself to drop down. 

What he found, instead of a painful fall, was that the world around him righted itself and he was suddenly standing in another hallway, this one appearing to be in the basement of the hospital.

“What the fuck?”

His voice echoed, and he flushed, suddenly slightly embarrassed by the small outburst though there was noone around to hear it. He took a deep breath, looking behind him and seeing the drop and knowing it was impossible to climb back up. So instead, he simply moved forward. Forward to another drop, where he hardly hesitated before taking a brief step into open air before the world righted again, leaving his stomach feeling stretched and queasy. What kind of place was this? What was happening? He approached what appeared to be the end of the hallway, though the wall in front of him was tiled like the floor. Pausing nervously he glanced to his side, viewing down what was supposedly another hallway. Small windows too small to squeeze through left just enough light to brighten the hallway, though they were barred. Taking a chance, Rhys licked his lips and raised a foot to step onto the wall, only to stumble as his equilibrium was thrown off and he fell to the floor, the world once again righting itself. Staying prone for a few precious seconds he blinked sluggishly, listening to his audible breathing before finally climbing to his feet. 

He didn’t have time for this, he had things to do. 

Walking forward a bit more confidently, he noticed that the hallway was growing uncomfortably bright. Metal bedframes lined each side of the hallway and Rhys shuddered, hugging himself tightly. There was just one more bend, one more turn and he was sure he’d get out of this hallway and somewhere else. He took a step, the world righted itself, and he was staring down a darkened corridor toward a brightly lit doorway. He hesitated, unsure of how to proceed, before taking a deep breath and straightening his arms by his side. He’d come here for a reason, to make peace with what was done. To remember. To forgive and forget so he could live and love. This wouldn’t scare him. He took the necessary steps forward, faltering slightly as the light became almost too much to bear.

_One day I turned off the light...but it didn’t go dark._

He resolutely continued forward, squinting before him. 

_It was a limitless immensity, a blinding merciless light. I was 16 and afraid, always afraid, a fear that wore me down. I needed help, but I could not speak. Everything terrified me, even thinking._

The light enveloped him, and Rhys couldn’t see. He stopped walking for a moment, overwhelmed by the intensity of it all, but he pushed himself forward after a few aching moments. He remembered then, the first time he’d come there. How the crippling fear and anxiety had twisted his body as he was dropped off at the front gates of the hospital, and the two intimidating guards who stood, watching and waiting.

_They said they were taking me to a place where the fear would go away, where I would get better._

__He remembered how they had approached him, arms outstretched and faces blank, devoid of emotion. They had dragged him inside, desperately clinging to his doll, to a room off the side of the entrance halls. They’d stripped him, of both his clothes and his dignity. It was with wounded pride that he barely managed to contain his tears._ _

_I stopped living in there. They dragged me away and tore off all my clothes, every last stitch. I tried to explain what was going on in my head. They tied me to the bed...for days._

Rhys remembered the humiliation, the fear. The not knowing when he’d finally be up and able to see the sky again. 

_Alone with my nightmares… It wasn’t fear anymore. It was madness! And when you’re mad, you cease to exist._

He blinked, finding himself held down. He was in bed, his sight distorted. It was like watching an old movie, grainy black and white and shades of gray. He heard crying, whimpering, and saw a mass of bodies lying around him, crowded into beds and corners. He tried to lift his arms, to do something, anything, but he couldn’t. His breath caught in his throat and he thrashed for a moment, panicked. He couldn’t do anything, not then, not now. Blindly he searched out for his light, the one thing he knew then and now could make this better. He swiveled his head to the left, and examined the person perched on the edge of his bed. He panted, breaths coming in rasping gasps that tore through him. There was a gentle hand on his chest then, and he blinked sluggishly as his eyesight strained against the poor light in the room. Sad eyes peered down at him, soft blond hair, a strong jaw. 

_He was my only hope in this hell…_

“Easy Rhys. Shhh it’s okay.” 

_I was falling down amongst the damned, but that man and his smile kept me alive._

___“I’ve got you.”_ _ _

Light flashed in his eyes and he blinked, sitting up in the suddenly abandoned room. Rhys rubbed his wrists as he looked around, the room dirty and the mattress stained. He sat on his old bed, wondering how he got there, and pondering the man he remembered so fondly. August had been a saving grace, surprisingly gentle despite his gruff exterior, and knowing just what to say to help calm him down. While the orderly wasn’t around often enough to control all of Rhys’ anxiety, he certainly helped cut it down. Rhys’ head ached as he stood and looked out the window, through the bars to the night sky. How long had he been out? He looked toward the closed door and reached out to push it open, before remembering that the doors locked from the outside. Here, the doors could only be locked and unlocked from the outside. He approached the window, peering out into the darkness and wondering what August was doing now, at this moment, before the sounds of the door being unlocked caught his attention. Rhys turned toward the door as it swung open, the sound of retreating footsteps sharp on the tile of the hallway. 

__Cautiously approaching the door he walked into the hallway, happy to note that turning on the generator was a good idea considering the hall lights were now on. Though the lights were very dull it left him in something other than pitch black darkness. Padding softly down the hall he didn’t bother to check the doors on either side of him, knowing deep in his bones each room was locked. Someone had specifically unlocked his room for a reason, but he still began to sweat with the thought of being caught out of his room after hours. Taking a deep shuddering breath he entered the day room at the end of the hall, gaze immediately attracted to the sight of Lamby, placed delicately on a table with a surgical light fixated on her threadbare form. Clenching his hands into fists he approached the doll slowly, reaching out a hand to touch her._ _

_His vision faded before he could make contact, and he was suddenly aware of the high pitched whine that erupted around him. He turned slowly, gazing at the dozens of other men around the room, Lamby missing from her perch. Unperturbed by the sight before him, he slowly yet swiftly made his way through the crying and shouting men, the ones staring at the walls and into the distance, unaware of their surroundings. Reaching the doorway he gazed in anguish at the sight of one of the guards with his doll clutched in a thick fist, turning and walking down a side hallway that led to the baths. Without his permission he began to move, padding with bare feet down the hallway that filled him with dread. He knew what would happen, screamed at himself to stop, to walk away, to forget the doll and return to his room. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t just leave Lamby in his clutches, who knew what would happen to her._

__His ears were filled with the rush of his blood and the thundering sound of his pulse, soon accompanied by the sounds of dripping water. He approached the bathroom meekly, bypassing the storage rooms and the sinks and the showers, to where the single bathtub was held in the tiny room._ _

__He remembered this place. He wished he didn’t._ _

The sensation of a breeze on his naked skin, Lamby clutched tight in his arms. Warm water, graciously warm, caressed his skin. The sensation of someone behind him, enveloping him, _touching_ him in places he didn’t want touched. Rhythmic dripping from the water in his hair, being pulled back into a massive chest. Hands on his thighs, lifting, spreading, clutching at skin too fragile, too pale. Rhys closed his eyes tightly, ignored the burning behind his eyelids. He tried to ignore the pain at the base of his spine, the panting in his ear and the whispered encouragements and endearments. The compliments that went hand in hand with the petting and the bruising grip on his hips. 

_He laughed, panted, leched over me; it hurt when he touched me, I thought I’d split apart suddenly with a loud thud, shattered into pieces. I felt fragile, dirty, sick, filthy. All I could do was clutch Lamby tightly while he..._

___Rhys obeyed. He was the boss in the Realm of Light! I was devoured by the evil I had done. I threw up and could feel hell getting closer and closer…..my god…._ _ _

__His vision swam back and he was stood in the dingy bathroom, looking over the wreck. It was daylight out, the sun shining brightly through the trees and lighting the ruined room. No one had been there in years. The memories left him feeling empty, and a tear slipped from his right eye and dripped to the ground. He sniffled quietly, rubbing at his nose, and shook the thoughts from his head. He turned from that hellish place, coming out the way he came, and bypassing an open door that led to a small outdoor enclave. He paused and stepped outside, raking in gasping breaths of fresh air to calm the rolling nausea that overcame him. After a few precious minutes he felt refreshed, and a little more whole. Rhys reentered the building and walked back into the dayroom, but found nothing there but broken tables and rotting benches. No Lamby. Rhys shook his head, trying to avoid a headache, and decided to return from the direction he came. Gazing down the hall he saw a clear cut path, no winding hallways or sudden drops._ _

__Curiosity led him to that nurses station, lined with lockers. A place where memories were left behind, in the form of letters and excess clothing. He found one such letter, and his stomach turned when he read it. Clearly it hadn’t been sent, or maybe it had been returned?_ _

_Dear Director,  
I have been working in this institution for five years now. I’m a simple person. I’m not educated, and I feel embarrassed writing to you. I always try to look on the bright side, but, sometimes, we have to do difficult things. That’s our duty, and well I understand and accept it. There is no alternative. However, I have decided to write to you because something is happening which is not acceptable. I am well aware that, among us there is someone who dedicates too much time to the younger male patients who are confused. The serious nature of this fact has spurred me on the write to you. I am certain of your indignation and of the measures you will adopt to solve the problem. Please accept my fondest regards and respect._

__The letter wasn’t signed, but Rhys gripped the paper tightly in his shaking hands anyway. So they knew? They knew this whole time!? Rhys felt his head reeling as he released the paper, and found himself walking on autopilot as he left the room and walked from the ward. By the time he came back to himself, he was climbing the stairs and aware of a distinct clammy feeling in his hands and body. Sucking in breaths through his teeth he walked into a room at random, gaze swimming. He found another piece of paper, on a surgical chair, and picked it up with thinly veiled anxiety._ _

_21/08/1938_

_Confidential_

_Dear J,  
I know what you think of these things so I am referring a patient to you, Rhys S. This wretched boy eluded out control and caused trouble in the park nearly three months ago. The nurses should pay more attention! _

_I’m examining the boy on the 28th. I’ll sort things out, don’t worry, we don’t want to make things any worse._

__Rhys hardly remembered what had warranted this letter, and was deeply confused. He tucked the paper, neatly folded, into his pocket. He squinted as he thought, pulse calm but thoughts racing._ _

_Then they said that Rhys was crazy, that it was all in his head. “Be careful little boy, be careful.” I was scared and didn’t talk to anyone about the illness, only Him, not even the other doctor. He never touched Rhys, he just wrote things down. “You can tell me everything, don’t be afraid.” He said. “Everything’s going to be just fine. Do you want to know what I’m writing? I write down what I see about you, everything I see!”_

_He didn’t hate Rhys, he tried to help him. But he rarely examined him, in those small surgeries._

_The doctor who wrote things down was in surgery C._


End file.
